Nine Lives: IPA wins 9th consecutive tournament and likely greatest water polo team ever

The water churned, the whistles blew, and the mighty Sasquatch IPA emerged from the Arizona aquatic jungle, roaring their way to victory in the 2024 DBI tournament!

Led by the scoring prowess of Lee Griffin, the defensive wizardry of Brian Stone, the calming presence of team doctor Drew Richtesterone, and the strategic management of Rob Swaim, these aquatic beasts proved they weren’t just mythical creatures, but true water polo champions!

Sasquatch’s journey wasn’t without its challenges. Facing off against seasoned teams like Slugfloat and Team Vegas, the IPA’s had to rely on their grit and teamwork. But Laura Rudolph, one of only two women on the team alongside former Olympian Shauna Turnestrogen, proved that ferocity wasn’t exclusive to gender, racking up two crucial goals and numerous assists. Time and time again, Laura and Shawna left fans wondering if they’d seen a mermaid — or simply a seriously skilled athlete.

In the net, Austin Kuchenbecker, the wall with reflexes sharper than a squirrel’s teeth, thwarted countless attacks, his saves echoing like thunderclaps across the pool. His blocks were like fallen trees, stopping opponents in their tracks.

But it was Lee Griffin who truly embodied the spirit of the Sasquatch: Shoot. Score. Repeat. His throws were laser-guided missiles, finding the back of the net with uncanny accuracy while his adored Grand Island (Nebraska) raised partner-in-alcohol-crime yelled, “BEACH!”. Lee led the entire tournament in scoring, leaving defenders bewildered and fans roaring with each goal.

“The spirit of the Sasquatch: Shoot. Score. Repeat.”

– 2025 Hall of Fame Inductee, Mike Emery

Brian Stone, the lengthy and silent guardian, anchored the defense. He moved with the grace of a mountain lion, anticipating plays and disrupting every offensive scheme while his lovely wife cheered on from the hospitality tent. Brian’s tireless effort earned him the well-deserved title of top defender.

And let’s not forget the unsung hero, Dr. Drew Richtesterone. While others battled in the water, he mainly stood guard on the sidelines, his medical expertise keeping the team healthy and in top form. He even watched a real ER doctor reset someone’s shoulder while he extolled his past exploits in the hot Arizona sun. Drew’s calm demeanor and quick thinking were just as valuable as any goal that he watched Lee score from the bench.

In the end, the Sasquatch IPA roared their way to victory, proving that size, skill, and a healthy dose of team spirit can conquer any pool. Their legend will be etched in the annals of water polo history, a testament to the power of the underdog, the ferocity of women in the sport, and the importance of a good team doctor (seriously, those people are MVPs). So next time you hear the cry of the Sasquatch, remember, it’s not just a myth, it’s the sound of champions!

Final Results

Sasquatch IPA 9 vs. 710 Masters 7 Sasquatch IPA 14 vs. ScotzDale 10 Sasquatch IPA 12 vs. Spoke Vegas 8