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Nine Lives: IPA wins 9th consecutive tournament and likely greatest water polo team ever

The water churned, the whistles blew, and the mighty Sasquatch IPA emerged from the Arizona aquatic jungle, roaring their way to victory in the 2024 DBI tournament!

Led by the scoring prowess of Lee Griffin, the defensive wizardry of Brian Stone, the calming presence of team doctor Drew Richtesterone, and the strategic management of Rob Swaim, these aquatic beasts proved they weren’t just mythical creatures, but true water polo champions!

Sasquatch’s journey wasn’t without its challenges. Facing off against seasoned teams like Slugfloat and Team Vegas, the IPA’s had to rely on their grit and teamwork. But Laura Rudolph, one of only two women on the team alongside former Olympian Shauna Turnestrogen, proved that ferocity wasn’t exclusive to gender, racking up two crucial goals and numerous assists. Time and time again, Laura and Shawna left fans wondering if they’d seen a mermaid — or simply a seriously skilled athlete.

In the net, Austin Kuchenbecker, the wall with reflexes sharper than a squirrel’s teeth, thwarted countless attacks, his saves echoing like thunderclaps across the pool. His blocks were like fallen trees, stopping opponents in their tracks.

But it was Lee Griffin who truly embodied the spirit of the Sasquatch: Shoot. Score. Repeat. His throws were laser-guided missiles, finding the back of the net with uncanny accuracy while his adored Grand Island (Nebraska) raised partner-in-alcohol-crime yelled, “BEACH!”. Lee led the entire tournament in scoring, leaving defenders bewildered and fans roaring with each goal.

“The spirit of the Sasquatch: Shoot. Score. Repeat.”

– 2025 Hall of Fame Inductee, Mike Emery

Brian Stone, the lengthy and silent guardian, anchored the defense. He moved with the grace of a mountain lion, anticipating plays and disrupting every offensive scheme while his lovely wife cheered on from the hospitality tent. Brian’s tireless effort earned him the well-deserved title of top defender.

And let’s not forget the unsung hero, Dr. Drew Richtesterone. While others battled in the water, he mainly stood guard on the sidelines, his medical expertise keeping the team healthy and in top form. He even watched a real ER doctor reset someone’s shoulder while he extolled his past exploits in the hot Arizona sun. Drew’s calm demeanor and quick thinking were just as valuable as any goal that he watched Lee score from the bench.

In the end, the Sasquatch IPA roared their way to victory, proving that size, skill, and a healthy dose of team spirit can conquer any pool. Their legend will be etched in the annals of water polo history, a testament to the power of the underdog, the ferocity of women in the sport, and the importance of a good team doctor (seriously, those people are MVPs). So next time you hear the cry of the Sasquatch, remember, it’s not just a myth, it’s the sound of champions!

Final Results

Sasquatch IPA 9 vs. 710 Masters 7 Sasquatch IPA 14 vs. ScotzDale 10 Sasquatch IPA 12 vs. Spoke Vegas 8

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Sasquatch Water Polo Club Wins 8th Consecutive Tournament

Sasquatch Water Polo Club won their 8th consecutive tournament this weekend, defeating the San Diego Sea Lions in the final in Scottsdale, AZ. The Sasquatch were led on offense by 2-meter set Mike Emery, who scored 5 goals, and left-handed driver Davey Carson, who scored 4 goals. On defense, the Sasquatch were led by goalie Troy Wiltbank, who made 10 saves.

The Sasquatch started the tournament strong, winning their first 3 games by a combined score of 28-5. In the semi-final, they faced a tough opponent in the Santa Barbara Sharks, and they were able to pull out a 10-8 victory.

In the final, the Sasquatch faced the San Diego Sea Lions, who were the only team to defeat them this season. The game was close throughout, but the Sasquatch were able to pull away in the 4th quarter to win 12-10.

The Sasquatch’s 8th consecutive tournament victory is a testament to their hard work and dedication. They are a well-coached team with a lot of talent, and they are always one of the top teams in the country.

Sasquatch’s Defense Leads the Way

The Sasquatch’s defense was the key to their victory in the tournament. They held their opponents to an average of just 5 goals per game, and their goalie Troy was outstanding, making 10 saves in the final.

The Sasquatch’s field defense was led by their 2-meter defender, Brian Stone. The defenders were able to shut down the opposing team’s top scorers, and they were also able to get their hands on a lot of balls, which prevented the other team from getting easy shots.

The Sasquatch’s defense was a major factor in their victory in the tournament. They played a great set of games, and they were able to hold off a very talented San Diego Sea Lions team.